I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
  1. kaaatiiie-whydoyouhavethisthing reblogged this from prreexisting
  2. justme0718 reblogged this from kissthisdeadgirlwalking1988
  3. burningman13 reblogged this from kissthisdeadgirlwalking1988
  4. kissthisdeadgirlwalking1988 reblogged this from pissedoffsandwich
  5. awai-kiseki reblogged this from sewena
  6. hilukemiller reblogged this from ask-msfortune
  7. vwildmage reblogged this from hereissomething
  8. sharnzotron reblogged this from twistedtheory
  9. fuckyeahjohndavid reblogged this from jj4droyd
  10. master-sin reblogged this from paraph
  11. domesticpsychosis reblogged this from theyfoundeachother
  12. seerofposts reblogged this from radical--princess
  13. rahn-burgundeh reblogged this from legit-humour
  14. teallicht reblogged this from kibitalia
  15. as-in-now-nah reblogged this from callmenagi
  16. cherrynotes reblogged this from sixdegreesofyaoi
  17. sixdegreesofyaoi reblogged this from watashiwodaisuki
  18. watashiwodaisuki reblogged this from callmenagi
  19. kibitalia reblogged this from callmenagi
  20. callmenagi reblogged this from sparklingshootingstars
  21. fireflyinthetardis reblogged this from ima-better-praetor-than-you
  22. ima-better-praetor-than-you reblogged this from prince-wrathion
  23. mochakimono reblogged this from princething
  24. stuffeyescansee reblogged this from prince-wrathion
  25. prince-wrathion reblogged this from holmes-sweet-holmes
  26. rebel-with-a-clue reblogged this from badwolfchild
  27. badwolfchild reblogged this from lilyginnyblack
  28. anthony-tilar reblogged this from fuxksean